THE BEST WAY TO FIGHT DEPRESSION

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Become obsessed with changing yourself. We stay depressed because we do not wish to deal with the reality which is dark and cruel. We are afraid to confront it because it makes us uncomfortable.

Remember that the pain of discipline is always less than the pain of regret.

In order to change, you must let go of your present self. You must realize that you’re constantly evolving. So either you are going down the spiral or upward. You’re never out of motion. You’re never at pause. Also, you’re not your past. Either you are better than who you were yesterday or you are worse.

So you have two choices: to change for better or to change for worse. Of course, when you’re depressed, it won’t feel like you have a Choice because you’re so entangled within the downward spiral. But you still, at the most basic level, have that choice to decide to move upward. It will be tough but if you really want it, you can do it.

We also don’t change because everytime we try to change, we are reminded of the past failed attempts at changing which create patterns of disappointment and pain.

Also, the pain of staying the same is always less than the pain of change. And so we choose not to change.

Remember, whether you choose to stay the same or you choose to change, you will suffer pain in both your choices. So you must choose which pain would you rather suffer because life is suffering and we must sacrifice something to gain anything. Decide what you wish to sacrifice.

Good luck!

HOW TO PERMANENTLY REDUCE YOUR SUFFERING?

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Marcus Aurelius says that every day you must dip into thoughts that put you at immediate and complete ease.

Seneca says people are troubled more due their own imaginative creations than due to reality. Think better. Here is how:

Thinking is work. It is true that we do not always choose our thoughts and some negative thoughts would pop up out of nowhere to trouble our tranquil minds. Yet, it is also true that we can create our own thoughts. But very few people actually practice this act of creating your own thoughts. Most people simply follow their stream of consciousness to the extent of wasting a lot of their time on things that matter very little.

Think better means to inject fresh new thoughts into your mind yourself. It is this act of creating your own favorite thoughts when you realize your mind is cluttered with negativity. It requires visualization and some powerful words that immediately put you at ease.

Marcus Aurelius says that every day you must dip into thoughts that put you at immediate and complete ease. You must always have at your disposal few fundamental thoughts that wash away all your pain and renew you for action. Whenever negativity gets hold of you, immediately return to these few fundamental thoughts and renew yourself.

I started practicing it recently and I’m way happier than I used to be. Earlier, I would fall into the trap of my own thoughts telling me that life is meaningless and there is no point in trying to accomplish anything because death equals it all. Basically, I would think myself into nihilism & would chuckle at it, thereby WASTING a lot of time.

I still get some such thoughts. But now I tackle them better. As soon as I acknowledge that I’m going down the nihilistic spiral, I deliberately inject some very powerful words and images into my mind that puts me at immediate ease. These images are usually pulled up from my past achievements: moments of sheer joy & excitement. I also tell myself that I’m no more the same person who used to self sabotage my capabilities. Instead, I’m someone who is growing to be a very strong & powerful.

Such thoughts fuel me for more productive action and I stay elated almost 100% of the time.

You can do the same. Always remember that you can always choose what to think. Why not think better?

STARTING COMPLETELY OVER IN YOUR 30s

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Someone asked this question on REDDIT: What was it like for you to start completely over when you were over 30? —

MY ANSWER: It was incredible. I’ve already done it twice & I’m planning to do it a third time.

What I believe in & what you must also give some thought to is the fact that we get only one life & that we’re going to die someday. Yet most of us live their lives like they are coming back or as if they’re immortals.

Life is short. All your desires will turn into regrets if you don’t work on them. Stop being afraid to go after the life you truly want.

A great book to read is “On the Shortness of Life” by Seneca. I go back to this book again and again in the moments of doubts & it frees me up.

What motivated me?
I’m always eager to improve my life. My main motivation has always been to get to the next level. And I’ve had a very humble childhood. I was an average boy. Very soft. Full of emotional needs. I’ve been a follower for a very long time, and so I was able to learn a lot. I always worked on my weaknesses & overcome them. So now I feel this huge urge to lead, to help others who are struggling the way I did.

How did I start?
Whenever I start over, I completely immerse myself into the new zone. I learn everything from the scratch. I give it all my time & focus. I get rid of all distractions. That’s how I did it twice and on my way to a third transformation now.

What steps I took?
1. Deep research.
2. Talking to industry experts.
3. Making sure that I complete all my previous pending stuff.

How did I feel?
Mixed feelings. When you face rejections in a new domain of work, it feels bad. But if you believe in yourself enough, you won’t give up. I didn’t. I kept moving after the rejections & setbacks. Then finally when you reach where you wanted to be, it feels so good, so amazing that you forget all the pain you had to go through reaching there.

Did I relocate?
Yes & no. I was already working away from home when I decided to switch the first time. So it was like coming back home. But I would’ve done it anyhow.

What do I wish I had known before that I know now?
I wish I had known it gets easier if you’re more mentally tough. I was a little tough anyhow, but transitions would’ve been happier if I was more tough. The rejections wouldn’t have hurt. The opinions of others wouldn’t have mattered much. It’s great when you don’t care about what others think. Mental toughness is the secret to happiness.

I no more fear anything anymore because I’ve come to the realization that fear is self induced. Danger is real but fear is a product of your imagination. Now I’m willing to go through litigation to succeed. I’m building my emotional bank account to be so strong mentally that I become limitless. I’m willing to fight and be confrontational if needed. I’ll do whatever it takes to succeed & be what I want to be.

I wish the same for everyone!

Good luck!

HOW TO TRANSFORM YOUR WEAKNESSES INTO STRENGTHS?

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Nobody can help you unless you want to help yourself. We all struggle with some weaknesses, but we forget that our most powerful actions emerge from our weaknesses only. It’s time for you to take a good look at yourself and transform your WEAKNESSES into your STRENGTHS!

Here is how you do it:

1. GET QUITE.

Sit yourself in a dark room. Throw all technology away. No phones. No music. No TVs. No computers. Start thinking. Try to find out who you truly want to become. Visualize this person you want to become. Make sure you imagine this person as someone you will be proud of, NOT someone others will be proud of. Put yourself first. See what is it that if you accomplish well would give you most pride & happiness. Think hard about it.

2. GO BACK TO YOUR CHILDHOOD.

You might have to go back into your childhood and see yourself from an objective view. There might have been things that happened to you in the past that made you limit yourself in certain areas, things that diminished your abilities. Find those things out & write them down. Remember these things. These are the things you will need that will give you the power to go on, because they will make you bring that change in you. Bad things that happen to us are actually the things that we need to go on. They fuel us. They give us the necessary power to not give up when it gets hard. They remind us of what we can actually take and move forward. They make us become more powerful & more tough.

Good luck!

HOW TO FIND YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE?

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If you’re clueless about your future and feel lost, read on. I’ll give you a step by step path you can follow. It will require some courage on your part, but you can do it.

1. MOVE OUT OF YOUR HOME:

If you’re living with your family, you’re influenced by their opinions in whatever you try to do. No matter how difficult it sounds, our parents usually f#@k us up. If you can’t move out of the house, stop listening to them. Also stop listening to anyone else that makes you feel low or weak.

2. BUILD YOUR EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT:

Most of us feel lost because we have low self esteem & low self worth. We feel negative emotions and we believe them to be true. Your negative feelings are a result of your habitual thinking. They’re not true. You’re capable of achieving a lot if you get more disciplined about what sort of emotions you allow yourself to react to. Remember, you’ll feel both negative and positive emotions. You choose to react only to the positive ones. Get self disciplined.

3. DREAM BIG:

We all have desires. No matter how lost you feel, there are things you really desire, things you dream of having, doing or being. Take out a pen and a paper and write down all your dreams. At this stage, don’t think about whether your dreams will come true or not. Just write them down. Convert these dreams into specific goals. Think about how you can reach closer to your dreams. Write down all the ways you might fulfill your desires. Write them down and set goals to each one.

4. FOCUS ON YOUR GOALS:

Take inventory of your daily routine and see how much time you waste on things that have no relation to your goals. Replace those unnecessary tasks with tasks you must do to get closer to your goals. Find a mentor who has been and done that which you’re aspiring to do. Most of your time must be spent with your mentor and working on your goals. Lay down a clear cut step by step plan as to how you’ll reach your goals. You’ll have to reverse engineer the steps by talking to your mentor. To be laser beam focused, create your affirmations and recite them twice daily that creates images in your mind about your future self achieving all your goals. Visualization of your future accomplishments and feeling positive emotions is a must.

5. TAKE ACTION:

Become obsessed about your vision and work relentlessly on your goals. Network with people who can help you along the way and surround yourself with people who are better than you in every area of your life. Never give up on your dreams. Accept that you’ll fail at times and you must restart with the same zeal. Work your plan and never stop till you get what you desire. Remember that you’ll have to get super disciplined and committed to do all this.

If you religiously follow the above 5 steps verbatim, you’ll be a on your way to success.

Good luck!

HOW TO BREAK YOUR OLD HABITS & INSTALL NEW ONES?

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The greatest mistake is to identify yourself with habits patterns, emotions and behaviors you have from time-to-tome or even all the time. You are not your emotions, habits or behaviors. You are much more than that.

The major reason we don’t change is that we associate more pain to changing than to stay where we are. We have all tried to make changes in the past and failed. This creates a pattern of disappointment and pain. Another reason for not making a change is that we may have fear of the uncertainty, of moving into uncharted waters. Of leaving others behind. Losing the approval of our peer group and family. All these cause us pain and will keep us from being who we are truly capable of.

ASK YOURSELF THE RIGHT QUESTIONS

Most people ask THE WRONG, What if… questions. What if I fail? What if I give up eating junk food and die anyway? What if I give up my anger/ depression/ resentment about being hurt and get hurt again? What if I leave this relationship/ job and don’t find another?

YOU DON’T CHANGE BECAUSE YOU’RE ASKING THE WRONG QUESTIONS. ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS LIKE: What will it cost me if I don’t change? What will I miss out on? How will it affect my life and the lives of the people around me & of people I love? My relationships? My health? AND, how will my life be better if I make the change now? How will it affect my future? My health? My relationships? What will I gain?

These questions will link enormous pain to not changing now AND enormous pleasure in making the change today. Most people are capable of making change and want to change. The reason they don’t change is that change must be driven by intense desire and urgency to follow through with the action necessary to make the change. Asking these questions will cause you to get motivated to change today.

BREAK OLD EMOTIONAL HABIT PATTERNS

Fear, worry and most other emotions or behaviors are simply habit patterns of a certain way of thinking, speaking and/or behaving. These patterns coupled with certain belief systems cause us to feel certain emotions. In order for us to consistently feel, think or act a certain way, we have to first develop habitual ways of asking the same questions, focusing on the same images and using our physiology (our body) the same way over and over again.

For example, think of a person that is depressed. How would they stand (hunched over), where do they look (down), what does their face look like (frowning, sad) and how do they breathe (shallow)? You can interrupt this pattern of physiology (and the feelings that go with it) simply by substituting a different habit pattern. Such as standing tall, smiling and breathing deeply.

STOP IDENTIFYING WITH YOUR LIMITING EMOTIONS

Another way to interrupt a pattern is to stop identifying with any limiting emotion. Such as… “I am depressed” Or “I am a failure.” Instead, say… “I am running a habit that gets me into a state of depression.” Or ” I am running a ritual on myself right now that makes me feel bad and I call that a failure.” The greatest mistake is to identify yourself with habits patterns, emotions and behaviors you have from time-to-tome or even all the time. You are not your emotions, habits or behaviors. You are much more than that.