“I have learned that courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela
“I’ve come to realize that fear is not my enemy, but rather an opportunity for growth. By facing my fears head-on, I have discovered my true strength and resilience.” – Unknown
“Fear has no power over me anymore. I have embraced it, understood it, and used it as a catalyst for personal transformation.” – Unknown
“I overcame my fear by shifting my focus from what could go wrong to what could go right. By envisioning a positive outcome, I found the motivation and courage to overcome my fears.” – Unknown
“Fear is just a temporary barrier standing between me and my dreams. I have learned to break through that barrier and chase my goals relentlessly.” – Unknown
“I conquered my fears by realizing that they were holding me back from living a fulfilling life. I refused to let fear dictate my actions and took bold steps towards my aspirations.” – Unknown
“I faced my fears head-on, knowing that on the other side of fear lies growth, success, and a deeper understanding of myself.” – Unknown
“I have transformed my fears into fuel for my ambitions. Every time I feel afraid, I remind myself that it is an opportunity to prove my strength and resilience.” – Unknown
“Overcoming fear is not a one-time event; it’s a continuous process of pushing boundaries, stepping out of my comfort zone, and embracing discomfort.” – Unknown
“I realized that fear was a product of my thoughts, and I took control of my mind. By changing my perspective and cultivating a positive mindset, I conquered my fears one by one.” – Unknown
WATCH THIS EVERYDAY & YOU WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN 2023
A 22 year old guy asked me this painful question. This guy lives with his mom. He has no job, no friends, no girlfriend, no hobbies and thinks that nothing is going right for him. His daily routine looks like this: getting up in the morning and repeating the same stupid behavior: doing nothing but staying at home, watching YouTube, TikTok videos, or scrolling through Reddit newsfeed, playing games on the phone, sleeping, and eating junk food literally every damn day. He has a fast food addiction and he can’t cook properly. He thinks that he just has every error that a human being can possibly have.
He thinks he is ugly, talentless, and stupid. Although he is studying finance in college, he skips his classes and feels like he doesn’t have the drive and motivation to push forward and finish his degree. There are many skills he wants to learn such as web development, photography and game development but he never feels driven to make a start.
Now some people might suggest to him to drop out of college and pursue other options but he thinks that if he does so, his family would throw him out of the house. If he gets kicked out of the house, he has absolutely nowhere and nobody to go to for help. He has no friends or relatives who’d support him. So he continues to live with his mom and feels embarrassed to be living with her at the age of 22.
Now he has had enough and he wants to turn his life around for the better because he can’t deal with this negative energy around him anymore. He doesn’t want to be a sensitive loser anymore.
He goes on to say that he is poor, and can’t afford new clothes and shoes because he is unable to find a job. He thinks that no woman or person would want to hang out with him because he is socially awkward and boring to talk to.
So basically, his life sucks.
And so, he asks, “What are some ways that he can change his life around?”
Here is my reply to him and it is a solution that will help almost everyone suffering from failure, rejection, procrastination or depression. So listen carefully.
Here’s what I told him:
Your emotions are messing you up. How you describe yourself in this post are just your negative thoughts that are creating negative emotions in you, which further create negative thoughts and so on you are moving down the spiral into depression. Negative emotions then lead to stupid actions that might please you for a while but will mess you up later.
When you’re in pain, you must understand pain.
It’ll be painful if you attend classes and really listen and focus on them. It’ll be painful if you go out and talk to girls. It’ll be painful if you work on your health and get fit. It’ll be super painful to apply to 200 jobs and get rejected 90% times to find the one job that pays little but gives you some self respect and that leads to a better job and more experience.
Understand that whether you choose to take these actions or not, you’re going through pain anyhow. You are already under the pain of having to stay with your parents, low self esteem, zero focus, procrastinating all day and achieving nothing.
So it comes down to choosing your pain. You’re already in pain. Why not choose the pain that changes you for the better? Or do you want to keep suffering the way you’re suffering now?
Both choices will put you under deep emotional turmoil. Both choices will put you through resistance, but the choice of discipline, focus and effort will get you better results which will create better emotions which will create better thoughts and you will get on the upward spiral to an improved mental and physical health, focus and achievement.
The pain of discipline is always less than the pain of regret.
Our lives are not static. We’re constantly evolving. Just because you think you amount to nothing today doesn’t mean that you won’t amount to anything tomorrow. Similarly, just because you’re doing well today also doesn’t mean you’ll keep on doing well for the rest of your life. You’ll have to consistently put in effort to maintain your present state of well-being and make continuous progress.
So the basic core values like discipline, focus and effort are never out of the equation, no matter how better or bigger you get. Instead, when you really get successful, you really need these values to stay at the top or you will be thrown down by your negative thoughts and emotions in no time.
So it’s very crucial to remember these basic principles and keep moving forward with discipline, focus and relentless effort. This is the way you change your life around and stop being a failure.
These quotes will help you during difficult times: 1. We’re all gonna die anyhow. 2. If I can walk past the tough times, everything else will be a cakewalk. 3. Fear is false expectations appearing real. 4. Tough times don’t last, tough people do. 5. It’s not what happens to you in life but how you interpret it. 6. Why think like mortals in all that you fear and like Immortals in all that you desire? 7. Tell yourself to stop being a coward and move forward with courage. 8. Forget the risk and take the fall. If it’s what you want then it’s worth it all. 9. Life is not fair. But I will still take what I want despite all odds. 10. To be unstoppable, never stop. 11. Trust yourself and love yourself first. 12. You have inner strengths and powers you haven’t yet tapped into. 13. Tough times shall make you stronger and more powerful. 14. Embrace failure for it teaches you a lot and it means you tried. 15. Either I’ll find a way or I’ll make one. 16. Deep down inside, everyone is a warrior. Seek his counsel and prepare yourself for war.
Become obsessed with changing yourself. We stay depressed because we do not wish to deal with the reality which is dark and cruel. We are afraid to confront it because it makes us uncomfortable.
Become obsessed with changing yourself. We stay depressed because we do not wish to deal with the reality which is dark and cruel. We are afraid to confront it because it makes us uncomfortable.
Remember that the pain of discipline is always less than the pain of regret.
In order to change, you must let go of your present self. You must realize that you’re constantly evolving. So either you are going down the spiral or upward. You’re never out of motion. You’re never at pause. Also, you’re not your past. Either you are better than who you were yesterday or you are worse.
So you have two choices: to change for better or to change for worse. Of course, when you’re depressed, it won’t feel like you have a Choice because you’re so entangled within the downward spiral. But you still, at the most basic level, have that choice to decide to move upward. It will be tough but if you really want it, you can do it.
We also don’t change because everytime we try to change, we are reminded of the past failed attempts at changing which create patterns of disappointment and pain.
Also, the pain of staying the same is always less than the pain of change. And so we choose not to change.
Remember, whether you choose to stay the same or you choose to change, you will suffer pain in both your choices. So you must choose which pain would you rather suffer because life is suffering and we must sacrifice something to gain anything. Decide what you wish to sacrifice.
Marcus Aurelius says that every day you must dip into thoughts that put you at immediate and complete ease.
Seneca says people are troubled more due their own imaginative creations than due to reality. Think better. Here is how:
Thinking is work. It is true that we do not always choose our thoughts and some negative thoughts would pop up out of nowhere to trouble our tranquil minds. Yet, it is also true that we can create our own thoughts. But very few people actually practice this act of creating your own thoughts. Most people simply follow their stream of consciousness to the extent of wasting a lot of their time on things that matter very little.
Think better means to inject fresh new thoughts into your mind yourself. It is this act of creating your own favorite thoughts when you realize your mind is cluttered with negativity. It requires visualization and some powerful words that immediately put you at ease.
Marcus Aurelius says that every day you must dip into thoughts that put you at immediate and complete ease. You must always have at your disposal few fundamental thoughts that wash away all your pain and renew you for action. Whenever negativity gets hold of you, immediately return to these few fundamental thoughts and renew yourself.
I started practicing it recently and I’m way happier than I used to be. Earlier, I would fall into the trap of my own thoughts telling me that life is meaningless and there is no point in trying to accomplish anything because death equals it all. Basically, I would think myself into nihilism & would chuckle at it, thereby WASTING a lot of time.
I still get some such thoughts. But now I tackle them better. As soon as I acknowledge that I’m going down the nihilistic spiral, I deliberately inject some very powerful words and images into my mind that puts me at immediate ease. These images are usually pulled up from my past achievements: moments of sheer joy & excitement. I also tell myself that I’m no more the same person who used to self sabotage my capabilities. Instead, I’m someone who is growing to be a very strong & powerful.
Such thoughts fuel me for more productive action and I stay elated almost 100% of the time.
You can do the same. Always remember that you can always choose what to think. Why not think better?
Someone asked this question on REDDIT: What was it like for you to start completely over when you were over 30? —
MY ANSWER: It was incredible. I’ve already done it twice & I’m planning to do it a third time.
What I believe in & what you must also give some thought to is the fact that we get only one life & that we’re going to die someday. Yet most of us live their lives like they are coming back or as if they’re immortals.
Life is short. All your desires will turn into regrets if you don’t work on them. Stop being afraid to go after the life you truly want.
A great book to read is “On the Shortness of Life” by Seneca. I go back to this book again and again in the moments of doubts & it frees me up.
What motivated me? I’m always eager to improve my life. My main motivation has always been to get to the next level. And I’ve had a very humble childhood. I was an average boy. Very soft. Full of emotional needs. I’ve been a follower for a very long time, and so I was able to learn a lot. I always worked on my weaknesses & overcome them. So now I feel this huge urge to lead, to help others who are struggling the way I did.
How did I start? Whenever I start over, I completely immerse myself into the new zone. I learn everything from the scratch. I give it all my time & focus. I get rid of all distractions. That’s how I did it twice and on my way to a third transformation now.
What steps I took? 1. Deep research. 2. Talking to industry experts. 3. Making sure that I complete all my previous pending stuff.
How did I feel? Mixed feelings. When you face rejections in a new domain of work, it feels bad. But if you believe in yourself enough, you won’t give up. I didn’t. I kept moving after the rejections & setbacks. Then finally when you reach where you wanted to be, it feels so good, so amazing that you forget all the pain you had to go through reaching there.
Did I relocate? Yes & no. I was already working away from home when I decided to switch the first time. So it was like coming back home. But I would’ve done it anyhow.
What do I wish I had known before that I know now? I wish I had known it gets easier if you’re more mentally tough. I was a little tough anyhow, but transitions would’ve been happier if I was more tough. The rejections wouldn’t have hurt. The opinions of others wouldn’t have mattered much. It’s great when you don’t care about what others think. Mental toughness is the secret to happiness.
I no more fear anything anymore because I’ve come to the realization that fear is self induced. Danger is real but fear is a product of your imagination. Now I’m willing to go through litigation to succeed. I’m building my emotional bank account to be so strong mentally that I become limitless. I’m willing to fight and be confrontational if needed. I’ll do whatever it takes to succeed & be what I want to be.
I wish the same for everyone!
Good luck!
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